Scene Three

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Scene Three
Scene Three
Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum run on stage from either side meeting in the center of the stage.

Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum:
(Shaking hands)
How do you do and shake hands, shake hands, shake hands. How do you do and shake hands, state your name and business!
Tweedle Dum:
Hello everybody! My name is Tweedle Dum and this is me ever so lovelys and fantastically brilliants brothers and me verys verys best mate Tweedle Dee! (nudging Tweedle Dee) say hiyas to the audience Tweedle Dee!
Tweedle Dee:
Hello everybody! My name is Tweedle Dee, and this is me ever so lovelys and fantastically brilliants brothers and me verys verys best mate Tweedle Dee! Say hiyas to th-
Tweedle Dum:
Deeeess! I’ve already done that sillys!
(both sit down, back to back, and get out Mcdonalds meals, Tweedle Dum has a larger box than Tweedle Dee)
Tweedle Dee:
I cannots believes my blinkings eyes!
Tweedle Dum:
Why can’t you believes your blinkgs eyes!
Tweedle Dee:
Well heres we ares, sat down on this lovely days here in wonderland and alls I can sees is yous eating a bigger maccies then mes!
Tweedle Dum:
(hiding bag and box) What Dee’s?! I don’t be having a clue what yous talking abouts!
Tweedle Dee:
Your boxes is looking biggers than mines!
Tweedle Dum:
No no nos Dees! Remember, we both agreed to orders a…
Tweedle Dee and Dum:
Double cheeseburger meals, with a big macs on the side, two hot apples pies… each, and three extras French fries… medium sizes… we weren’t too hungries.
Tweedle Dee:
DUMS! (Standing up and stomping feet) I has had enough of yous and your greedys ways! Firsts it was an extras large meals at Burgers Kings, yesterdays it was an extras bargains buckets at KFC’s, and todays, toooodayysss, you draws the lines and orders a LARGE Mcdonalndsss! I has had enough! I am no longers your fellow bessy mates! So yes, good byes! (Stomps feet and walks off)
Tweedle Dum:
(Sits down and looks sad) Oh nos! He’s really reallys angrys this time Dum Dums, you’ve been so very naughtiess, but yous were just hunries, it’s not your faults, but now my evers so lovelys and fantasitically brilliants brother and me verys verys best mate has lefts me, whats do I do?! (Runs off in the opposite direction to Dee)
Curtains open and alice enters from the side

Alice:
Oh hello there again boys and girls!
Audience responds

Alice:
Can you help me? I need to find my friend The White Rabbit, can you help me call him? Let’s practice,  on the count of three can you shout White Rabbit? Okay, one, two three…

Audience response

Alice:
Very good! Now, one more time!

Audience response
The White Rabbit enters the stage in a hurry
The White Rabbit:
Alice! Alice! Alice!!!!

Alice:
White Rabbit, whatever is the matter?! Calm yourself down!! Calm! Breathe, find a calm place in your mind, think of nice things! Flowers, clouds, pillows…  Take a nice deep breath.
The White Rabbit:
(takes a deep breath) Alice, I’ve just seen the strangest thing!!

Alice:
Well what is it my fidgety friend?!

The White Rabbit:
I’ve just seen Rapunzel and Little Red Riding Hood, walking around wonderland!!


Alice:
Oh Rabbit, you are silly, they could never possibly be all the way here in wonderland! I think it very possible that you’ve had frightfully little sleep!

The White Rabbit:
Nonononoooooo Miss Alice! I then saw Cinderella and her Fairy Godmother! And THEN I saw Prince Charming too!

Rapunzel and Little Red Riding Hood enter, talking to each other

Rapunzel:
Like, Little Red Babe, I think we’re like, totes lost.

Little Red Riding Hood:
Totes babe. Totes. This place is just getting weirder and weirder.

Rapunzel:
I know right! I swear I like, saw a rabbit in a waistcoat earlier, what’s the about babe?!

Little Red Riding Hood:
I totes don’t know babe, but I see him too… (points to White Rabbit)

The White Rabbit:
I told you I saw them!

Alice:
H…hello there… uhh… my name is Alice… could I perhaps, possibly help you in some way…?
Rapunzel:
Alice babe, me and my BFF Little Red here are like, totally lost.

Little Red Riding Hood:
Totally. Like, all I want to do is get home and visit my grandma!

Cinderella and Fairy Godmother enter also

Fairy Godmother:
Oh me oh my… where on earth are we!

Cinderella:
Well I don’t know Fairy Gee! All I know is that this is not home, and I am going to be late for my date! Eugh, at least that old bag of a stepmother has gone.

Fairy Godmother:
That’s what I’m worried about, she’s not called your EVIL stepmother for nothing you know!

Alice:
Um… Hello there… Cinderella is it?

Cinderella:
Yes, Princess Cinderella… and this is-

Fairy Godmother:
Fairy Godmother, at your service, anything you desire, only a wish away! (hands alice her card)
Alice:
Uh, oh well thank you awfully! But, well, may I be ever so bold as to enquire as to why you are here in wonderland and so far from home?
Fairy Godmother:
Well you see-
Fairy Godmother is interrupted when Prince Charming enters, as he does Rapunzel and Little Red get excited amongst themselves.

Prince Charming:
EXCUSEZ MOI! (Swaggers in) Hope you don’t mind dreadfully if I interrupt, but could any of you luscious lovely ladies tell me where I am. Dreadfully lost you see, and I was rather hoping I could get back to saving the day, being handsome, and of course, finding my perfect princess!

(Rapunzel and Little Red Giggle)

Little Red Riding Hood:
(Approaches Prince Charming, and holds out her hand, putting on a posh accent to try to impress him, clearing her throat) Ehem… Hellllooooo Mr Charming, my name is Little Red Riding Hood, it’s a pleasure to meet you! (Courtesies as he kisses her hand)
Prince Charming:
The pleasure, my dear is all mine… but tell me, why do you wear a hood, when it hides your beautiful face?
(Little Red swoons over him as he moves onto Rapunzel, also doing the posh voice)
Rapunzel:
Good day your prince…ness. Pleased to make your acquaintance, I am Princess Rapunzel…
Prince Charming:
Charmed, I’m sure… Rapunzel, a beautiful name, for an equally beautiful princess…
(Rapunzel swoons also, and Prince Charming moves onto Cinderella)
Cinderella:
Cinderella, Princess Cinderella, what a pleasure this is, for you.

Prince Charming:
Oooh, sassy, I like it.

 Alice:
Ehem! Excuse me! Are you all telling me that you’re all lost?! Well how on earth did you all get here?!

Cinderella:
Well, one minute we were in our own storylands, minding our own business, and then suddenly, there was a great wind and we were blown into this land!

Rapunzel & Little Red Riding Hood:
So were we!

Prince Charming:
I believe that is what happened to me also.

Alice:
(Gasps) Oh no!

All but Alice:
What is it?


Alice:
Oh my… I know how you all got here! You must have all been thrown from your stories when I ripped out the pages of this story book! (shows the book to everyone)
(all gasp)

Fairy Godmother:
But why on earth would you do that?!

Alice:
I don’t know! I was so very fed up and so frightfully sick of the same boring old stories, I must have gotten awfully angry and ripped the pages out in a rage! I didn’t know it would be disastrously dangerous! Oh my, I am so very truly sorry everyone, I didn’t mean to throw you from your stories! Honestly I didn’t! (alice begins to cry)

Fairy Godmother:
Now, now my dear, I’m sure you didn’t mean for all of this to happen, there’s no need to cry! I’m perfectly certain that we can fix this mess, quick as the wave of my wand!

Cinderella:
(Under her breath) Hopefully it’ll work better than your wand…

Alice:
Oh but what do we do?!

The White Rabbit:
I believe I have an idea Miss Alice… why don’t we visit The White Queen? She’ll know what to do!

Alice:
What a simply wonderful idea Rabbit! Yes, yes! We must go at once! No time to lose! This way everyone! (Alice leads them offstage, outside)