Scene One

Hayley Quinn Cooper created a doc.
Scene One
Scene One

Lights up
Mystical music begins, quite loud. Lights go down.

Mad Hatter:
(Voiceover from microphone) There is a place, like no place on earth, some say to survive it, you need to be as mad as a hatter. Which, luckily, I am!

Curtains are closed, Mystical music continues.
White Rabbit comes down from the top of the stairs

White Rabbit:
I’M LATE; I’M LATE FOR A VERY IMPORTANT DATE. NO TIME TO SAY HELLO. GOODBYE! I’M LATE, I’M LATE, I’M LATE! (runs down stairs, onto stage and through the curtains)

Curtains open. Alice is center stage, cross legged, reading a book, with a discontented look on her face. The White Rabbit runs around Alice once, repeating the previous line

White Rabbit:
I’M LATE; I’M LATE FOR A VERY IMPORTANT DATE. NO TIME TO SAY HELLO. GOODBYE! I’M LATE, I’M LATE, I’M LATE! (Exits stage left)

Alice:
(Standing up in a huff) I must quite say, I really am at my very last nim-witting nerve with all these silly little Fairy Tales, with all their pompously perfect happily ever endings. (Walks forward towards the stairs stage right)For the life of me I cannot think why anybody could find the slightest enjoyment in these pretty little un-topsy-turvying tales! Like Little Red Riding Hood and her cookies for her grandma, how very draining… it makes this cloud filled day here in Wonderland feel like Afternoon Tea in a pleasant Summers garden… Oh and look! Oh the other page we have the ever so predictably annoying tale that is
‘R-A-P-U-N-Z-E-L’ it requires me to think me off ‘Rapunzzzzzzzzz(snoring noise)el’ after all I want a magic filled adventure with Villains and Silly little creatures with strange shaped….EVERYTHING. Not a young maiden in distress who retires to do nothing but brush and brush and brush her LONGGGGGGGGG BLONNNDE, lusciously lush ….hair. Oh how very frustrated they all GET ME! (Alice rips the book, a wind sound effect is heard, and the page is carried offstage, either by extras, or it is just thrown)

Little Red Riding Hood and Rapunzel enter through book door



Little Red Riding Hood:
OOOOOOHHHHH…..

Rapunzel:
MYYYYYYYY

Little Red Riding Hood:
GOLLLYINGGG

Rapunzel:
GOSSSH!
Little Red Riding Hood:
Rapz, BABE.Like..where are we… it’s like really gloomy in here like,OH. MY. GOLLY!

Rapunzel:
 LIL Red. BABE. I like totally have like no clue like what-so-evaa, I was like totally just like combing my hair…Look feel it LUSH right ?

Little Red Riding Hood:
Lush BABE

Rapunzel:
Thanks BABE, And then like next thing I know, I’m like totally lost.

Little Red Riding Hood:
 SAME BABE.
(Both move to Bottom Left stage)

Rapunzel:
OH MY GOLLY BABE. Hug me, I’m like totally scared.
Little Red Riding Hood:
Don’t worry BABE, I’m so totally scared too,
I mean have you seen the…audience….
Rapunzel:
 I know babe..
Little Red Riding Hood & Rapunzel
There all so UGLYYYY babe!
(The two gasp and freeze, Alice unfreezes and continues to rip from the book)


Alice:
Now let’s turn this page before I simply fall fast asleep, The Adventures of Capatain Hook. Oh how very time less I must say… yet still it simply does not quite thrill me with excitement. I think I should simply just….dispose of delinquent pages delicately!
(Rips page and freezes, the same process happens with the page as before)

Captain Hook enters with Smee through book and moves center stage

Captain Hook:
MU-HA-HA-HA-HA-…..Smeee, why aren’t you cackling with me? Smee??

Smee
Mu- ha…….HA.

Captain Hook:
Oh that’s better, Good little Smee. (Pats on head, and bounds forwards to the front, center stage) The sea’s seemed to be awful choppy this morning Smee. Look at where we’ve ended up!

Smee:
Well. Mr. Hook, sir. It’s actually quite terrifying.

Captain Hook:
SMEE. Let’s not be talking like that, HAVE YOU NOT SEEN WE HAVE AN AUDIENCE!!

Smee:
Oh yes, Sorry Capt’n. ….. ARRRRRRRRGH WE ARE EVIL. Be scared. ARRRRGH.

Captain Hook:
Oh Smee, you’re so evil. I LOVE IT….. Now then Ship mates I suppose you all know who I am… Known for my good looks and wicked ways. (To audience) What’s my name?
….What’s my name ?
…Smee why isn’t the audience talking to me !?!

(Smee shrugs)

Captain Hook:
….Right now you must all say Hook when I say Captain…. It’s an order.

…Captain…


Audience:
HOOK

Captain Hook:
Who am I…? Captain…

Audience:
HOOK!

Captain Hook:
Okay one more time, Who am I … Captain…?!

Audience:
HOOK!!

Captain Hook:
Okay so that was pointless. I just wanted to boss you about. Ha, ha I’m a little bossy boots.

Smee is daydreaming in the background, and jumps when Hook calls his name.

Captain Hook:
SMEE! Find me your compass we must find our way back to ship! (Walks to bottom stage right)

Smee:
Oh, yes. Capt’n. Mr. Sir. Certainly! (Smee gets out compass, nervously fussing around his bag until he finds it, at which point he holds it into the air triumphantly and both Smee and Hook freeze)

Alice unfreezes and continues.

Alice:
Oh now this is a ever so dreary tale. Poor old Cinderella in her ever so delicate glass slipper, Yet quite simply another predictable tale. These authors’s should really take a leaf out of Tim Burton’s book. It simply would be quite dashing. (Smirks before ripping another page, the same process as before)

Fairy Godmother enters, waving her wand with a confused expression, she walks front center stage

Fairy Godmother:
Bippidy….Bobbidy….BOO! …Oh… um… let’s try again… Bippidy….Bobbidy…Boo! …Oh no I’ve really messed up my magic this time , Cinderella’s going to KILL me!

Cinderella enters, and stands near Fairy Godmother.

Cinderella:
Oh do calm down, Fairy Gee. We’ve simply been ripped out of our book. It happens all the time, Peter as in Pan. After our yummy date last week, was telling me how he woke up once, in the middle of Time Square. As in New York, Time Square. All we have to do is find out where we are and find our way out. And quick… I have a date with that small Lord Farquad later on tonight… he really is quite tiny.

Evil Stepmother enters, she barges in between Fairy Godmother and Cinderella and pushes them both to the side, inspecting the place.

Evil Stepmother:
Cinderella! Do you really think this is time to going on about your 85th date of the week! Now Fairy Gee find me a way back to my kingdom, I have ruling to be done!

Fairy Godmother:
Yes, evil step mother dearest,  I am jolly well trying as we speak…
Bippidy….Bobbidy….

Evil Stepmother:
Oh…Hold on Fairy Gee… (Takes a second look around, stands near Little Red Riding Hook and Rapunzel) I hadn’t quite noticed this place is rather… Dark… Rather dingy… Rather dirty… Rather… characteristic… love the wall paper… I could get quite acquainted here…

Cinderella:
(Storms over) DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT  IT! It’s horrid and damp and scary and I just want to go home!! Fairy Gee. Get. ME. HOME.

Fairy Godmother:
(Follows over) Yes dear, um one moment… biddidy… bobbidy…

They all freeze, and Alice unfreezes.

Alice:
Oh it does ever so much look as though I may have came to the last page of my book, shall we have a little limbering look at what we have…. (turns page)
Oh were still on Cinderella. HOW very exciting! The tales of the oh so brave and handsome Prince Charming, who searches all over for his darling Cinderella! How sickeningly sweet! Hardly much fun. Now I’m getting simply frustrated and bored… I wonder what I may make for my supper tonight? Hmmmm… (Rips page and freezes, as before)

 Prince charming enters with a swagger.

Prince Charming:
Hello everyone. Yes. Yes. It is me. Prince Charming. Yes. It really is. And no you’re not dehydrated that’s just my good looks taking your breath far, far away. (Smiles and winks at audience, whilst also clicking fingers) I’m a macho man, and I’m here to prance around… and be… (Poses to show off muscles, then looks at audience) Macho. (Notices someone in audience, and walks towards them) Hey… how you doin’? (stands and stares at audience member for a second, checking them out, before snapping out of it and continuing)

You all know me, y’know… Prince Charming, devilishly attractive, soft skin, feathery hair, voice like an angel, arms of steel… rescues princesses, slays dragons, look fiiiiiiiiiiiine… it’s all in a day’s work for me… but even someone as… beautiful as me, has his faults… I’d say my biggest fault is I’m just too attractive… I mean just look at my face and arm definition! Pout. Pout. Sexy. Sassy. Ladies… control yourselves! There’s more than enough macho to go around… Yes! I am… (poses) Gorgeous! I am… (another pose) Handsome! I am… (pose) Wonderful. But most of all… I am fearless!

Someone offstage sneezes

Prince Charming:
(Jumps from the noise and screams like a girl)
Ehem… (clears throat and tries to maintain manliness, but looks very awkward) I am… in need of new trousers…  (awkwardly shuffles off to near Captain Hook and Smee, on the way he looks at same audience member and mimes ‘call me’, then freezes)

Alice:
(Throws the book to one side) Yes I think I may make myself a dazzling dish of Dumplings for my Dinner. Yes. Off I must go, Toodloo… (Skips offstage, up the stairs and through the doors)

Curtains close

Everyone gets confused on stage, and bumps into each other, walking around looking scared whilst creepy music is played, the music fades down as each character exists, The Mad Hatter appears from the back of the stage



Mad Hatter:
So some people do in fact say to survive in Wonderland you must well be Mad as a Hatter, which we all know luckily that I am…But the question of the story is… Are the tales that are unleashed now Into our flamrosary forests of Wonderland Maaaaaad enough to stay afloat? Or will the Wonders of our Land, show Alice the error of her ways? Who’s know… All we know for sure is that this tea is definitely unspeakably cold and that yes I do quite like the look of all of you. And I will be seeing you ALL very well soon! Toodle doo, my old cherry doooo’s!


Mad Hatter exits behind curtains.


Like ·  · Follow post · 2 September 2011 at 22:06

Sarah Sharp I could kiss you.
2 September 2011 at 22:07 · Like

Hayley Quinn Cooper ahaha why thank you! ;)
2 September 2011 at 22:07 · Like

Sarah Sharp Love charmings monologue :D AHHHAAA!!! I LOVE THE WHOLE THING!
2 September 2011 at 22:27 · Like ·  1

Hayley Quinn Cooper ‎:D FUCKYEAH
2 September 2011 at 22:35 · Like

Hayley Quinn Cooper i'll get started on scene two tomorrow (:
2 September 2011 at 22:47 · Like

Sarah Sharp yaaay
2 September 2011 at 22:47 · Like

Katieann Bird you kno when charming says 'how you doing?' are we going for a bit of joey from friends ? ;D
4 September 2011 at 13:02 · Like

Hayley Quinn Cooper yeah ;D
4 September 2011 at 13:04 · Like ·  1

Hayley Quinn Cooper http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgxT5a0Vmeo&feature=relmfu kate

Spose - I'm Awesome (Clean Version)
www.youtube.com
Music video by Spose performing I'm Awesome. (C) 2010 Universal Republic Records, a division of UMG Recordings, Inc.
4 September 2011 at 13:08 · Like

Hayley Quinn Cooper there is your song for prince charming ;) but we might just use a really small bit
4 September 2011 at 13:08 · Like ·  1

Hayley Quinn Cooper that's just for you walking on (:
4 September 2011 at 13:08 · Like

Hayley Quinn Cooper ahaha it's one of the ones i've found so far (:
4 September 2011 at 13:08 · Like

Hayley Quinn Cooper i'd use like 20 seconds (:
4 September 2011 at 13:09 · Like

Hayley Quinn Cooper witout the swearing xD
4 September 2011 at 13:09 · Like

Hayley Quinn Cooper i wanted to use I love myself by The Wannadies
4 September 2011 at 13:10 · Like

Hayley Quinn Cooper but it's not on youtube so i can't show you :/
4 September 2011 at 13:10 · Like

Hayley Quinn Cooper it's on spotify if you have it i can link you
4 September 2011 at 13:10 · Like

Hayley Quinn Cooper http://open.spotify.com/track/6C3MdkyNKsOY3xrUyhFum2

I Love Myself
open.spotify.com
I Love Myself, a song by The Wannadies on Spotify.
4 September 2011 at 13:13 · Like

Hayley Quinn Cooper It's good cause some of the lyrics are "God damn, that's one handsome man!" :')
4 September 2011 at 13:15 · Like

Katieann Bird i havent got spotify :')
4 September 2011 at 13:20 · Like

Hayley Quinn Cooper LAME. let me link you
4 September 2011 at 13:20 · Like

Hayley Quinn Cooper http://www.we7.com/#/song/The-Wannadies/I-Love-Myself

Free Music, Listen to Music Free
www.we7.com
Listen to free streaming music online. Choose from Internet Radio Plus and the latest on demand music releases.
4 September 2011 at 13:20 · Like

Hayley Quinn Cooper you have to have an add first i think but other than that 9;
4 September 2011 at 13:21 · Like

Katieann Bird I'll listen to it when i go on my laptop, im on my dads computer and the speakers aparently dont work :') ahh!
4 September 2011 at 13:22 · Like

Hayley Quinn Cooper ahaha okiedokie (: i like it because it's a really vain song xD
4 September 2011 at 13:24 · Like