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Scene Four
The curtains open to reveal The Red Queen sitting down, using Smee as a footstool, The Evil Stepmother is impatiently pacing back and forth, and Hook is sharpening his hook, the Cheshire Cat is lazing around.
Evil Stepmother:
Argh! We are wasting time! How are we ever going to get those pages first, if you insist on stopping every ten minutes for a rest!
The Red Queen:
Oi! You try walking in these shoes for any longer, and you’ll need a rest every ten minutes too! Besides, there’s no rush, sit back, relax, breathe in that Wonderland air! Rellllllaaaaaaaxxxxxxxx!
Evil Stepmother:
There’s no time to relax! We need to get going now!
The Red Queen:
In a moment, in a moment my dear… HOOOOK!
Captain Hook:
Uh, Yes, your majesty?
The Red Queen:
Come… take a seat (removes feet from Smee to allow Hook to sit on him, at which point, The Cheshire Cat spots something and walks off stage)
Hook:
(sits on smee, meaning he is directly facing the queen) Uh… hello…?
The Red Queen:
Helllllllooooo (raises eyebrows in suggestive manner) Tell me… is there a Mrs Hook?
Hook:
(awkwardly) Uh… no.. no, just me.
The Red Queen:
Oh but how could a man as handsome as you be single?! Or rather, how could a woman as beautiful and divine as me, not have you in her grasp? (moves closer to Hook, but is interrupted by The Cheshire Cat dragging in Tweedle Dee)
The Cheshire Cat:
Your highness I found this eavesdropping…
Tweedle Dee:
Nonononosss! I was nots eavesdroppings! I was simplys listenings without yous knowings!
The Red Queen:
Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t have your head for this, you little goody two shoes… and where’s that miserably good brother of yours?!
Tweedle Dee:
Oh no mams, Tweedle Dums is the goodie two shoes, not Dees! I has heard your plans to steals the pages firsts, and I thinks it is a wonderfuls idea! I ams not like me brothers, I’ms not a goodie two shoes, I ams evil like yous!
Evil Stepmother:
You don’t look very evil to me…
Tweedle Dee:
Oh buts I am most certainlys evil! Why justs the other days I stoles candy froms a babys!
The Red Queen:
How delightfully evil! Very well, let us confer!
The group, minus Tweedle Dee, gather in a huddle to discuss the scenario. Whilst they do, Tweedle Dee begins singing the start to Bad, with altered Lyrics, the rest of the evil villains then join.
The Red Queen:
Very well! You may accompany us! Now that I am well rested I suppose we shall leave again!
Evil Stepmother:
Finally! We’ve wasted too much time already! That sickeningly sweet Alice probably already has half the pages! Not to mention the fact that she still has the book!
The Cheshire Cat:
Oh calm down dear… I have an idea!
The white queen enters, humming a happy tune to herself, she then notices the audience
The White Queen:
Oh my! Hello my dears! I am The White Queen of Wonderland and this here is my gloriously magnificent Car-stle! How are you all very well doing today?
Audience response
The White Queen:
Ever so sorry my sweet dears but I’m ever so hard of hearing all the way over here I simply could not hear you! How are we all doing today?!
Audience response
The White Queen:
Oh well, very well, that’s perfect!
Alice and the others appear on stage
The White Rabbit:
Your majesty, your majesty! Excuse me! I must request a most important favour of you!
The White Queen:
Oh well of course my dear Rabbit, whatever can I do for you?
The White Rabbit:
Well you see your highness, earlier on it would seem Miss Alice here ripped the pages of a story book she was reading, which she now rightfully regrets, but it would seem the pages that she ripped have caused the characters to fall out of their stories and into Wonderland! We ask your help to fix this mess!
The White Queen:
Oh me oh my! What a mess it would seem we are in! Come in my dears, come in, make yourself at home, no need to be nervous! (gestures at the other characters to move closer)
Alice:
Your majesty, I am so very sorry for causing all of this trouble, I would never ever have guessed in all my life, that my awful behaviour would have caused so much unfortunate damage!
The White Queen:
Oh my dear, I understand completely, allow me to look into my crystal ball, it allows me to see the entire kingdom! I shall see if we can find out how to fix this mess we have found ourselves in. (looks into crystal ball and looks shocked) Oh my goodness! It’s that wretched and far less attractive sister of mine, The Red Queen, she’s formed some sort of evil team! And she’s going after the pages of the book! We simply cannot let her find them, if she does, she will be able to rule over all of your stories! Boys and girls will you help us find the pages?! If you see a page of the book, I want you to shout “WE’VE FOUND A PAGE!” can you do that for me now? On the count of three, one, two, three!
Audience response
The White Queen:
Very good! Now just remember, if you see a page, shout that as loud as you can!
Come along everyone! We haven’t a moment to spare, it’s crucial that we find those pages before my hideous sister!
Before they can leave, Tweedle Dum can be heard crying off stage, and the group get confused as to who it could be.
Tweedle Dum:
WWAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Alice:
Oh my, what on earth could that awfully ear splitting noise have been?!
Tweedle Dum:
WAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
The White Queen:
There it is again!
Prince Charming:
I’ll take care of this, it could be a dragon or something equally as dangerous… (brandishes sword and runs stage right, making fighting sounds) DIE FOUL BEAST! YOU SHALL NOT HARM THESE WOMEN TONIGHT!
Whilst Prince Charming is making these noises, Tweedle Dum enters from stage left, revealing that he was the one making the noises and Prince Charming is indeed, fighting no one.
Prince Charming:
BACK! GET BACK!
Tweedle Dum:
WAAAHHHH!
Little Red Riding Hood:
Ohh, so that’s where the noise was coming from… but then… who is he fighting…
Prince Charming:
I SAID GET BACK YOU DEMON.
Rapunzel:
I don’t think he’s fighting anyone…
Alice:
Ehem… um Mr Charming?
Prince Charming:
(pokes head out) You called?
Alice:
We found the source of the noise…
Prince Charming:
Ah, jolly good, I was just fighting a dragon, don’t worry though, it’s gone now.
The White Rabbit:
I didn’t see a dragon…
Prince Charming:
It was invisible… and silent.
Tweedle Dum:
WAAAAHHH!
The White Queen:
Tweedle Dum my dear, whatever is the matter?
Tweedle Dum:
(sniffing and trying not to cry) It’s Tweedle Deessss!! He’s lefts me and nows hes gone evers so deeps intos the deeps darks forests and I wonts be ables to find hims all by myselfsss!!
Alice:
Oh goodness! That is quite a predicament you are in there! And it would be indeed unwise to try to find him all on your own! But we are also looking for something, we are looking for the pages of this story book, and it seems they could be all over Wonderland! So perhaps if you were to come along with us, we could look for both the pages and Tweedle Dee together!
The White Rabbit:
Indeed a terrific idea Miss Alice! Let us leave at once!
All exit, end of scene.
The curtains open to reveal The Red Queen sitting down, using Smee as a footstool, The Evil Stepmother is impatiently pacing back and forth, and Hook is sharpening his hook, the Cheshire Cat is lazing around.
Evil Stepmother:
Argh! We are wasting time! How are we ever going to get those pages first, if you insist on stopping every ten minutes for a rest!
The Red Queen:
Oi! You try walking in these shoes for any longer, and you’ll need a rest every ten minutes too! Besides, there’s no rush, sit back, relax, breathe in that Wonderland air! Rellllllaaaaaaaxxxxxxxx!
Evil Stepmother:
There’s no time to relax! We need to get going now!
The Red Queen:
In a moment, in a moment my dear… HOOOOK!
Captain Hook:
Uh, Yes, your majesty?
The Red Queen:
Come… take a seat (removes feet from Smee to allow Hook to sit on him, at which point, The Cheshire Cat spots something and walks off stage)
Hook:
(sits on smee, meaning he is directly facing the queen) Uh… hello…?
The Red Queen:
Helllllllooooo (raises eyebrows in suggestive manner) Tell me… is there a Mrs Hook?
Hook:
(awkwardly) Uh… no.. no, just me.
The Red Queen:
Oh but how could a man as handsome as you be single?! Or rather, how could a woman as beautiful and divine as me, not have you in her grasp? (moves closer to Hook, but is interrupted by The Cheshire Cat dragging in Tweedle Dee)
The Cheshire Cat:
Your highness I found this eavesdropping…
Tweedle Dee:
Nonononosss! I was nots eavesdroppings! I was simplys listenings without yous knowings!
The Red Queen:
Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t have your head for this, you little goody two shoes… and where’s that miserably good brother of yours?!
Tweedle Dee:
Oh no mams, Tweedle Dums is the goodie two shoes, not Dees! I has heard your plans to steals the pages firsts, and I thinks it is a wonderfuls idea! I ams not like me brothers, I’ms not a goodie two shoes, I ams evil like yous!
Evil Stepmother:
You don’t look very evil to me…
Tweedle Dee:
Oh buts I am most certainlys evil! Why justs the other days I stoles candy froms a babys!
The Red Queen:
How delightfully evil! Very well, let us confer!
The group, minus Tweedle Dee, gather in a huddle to discuss the scenario. Whilst they do, Tweedle Dee begins singing the start to Bad, with altered Lyrics, the rest of the evil villains then join.
The Red Queen:
Very well! You may accompany us! Now that I am well rested I suppose we shall leave again!
Evil Stepmother:
Finally! We’ve wasted too much time already! That sickeningly sweet Alice probably already has half the pages! Not to mention the fact that she still has the book!
The Cheshire Cat:
Oh calm down dear… I have an idea!
The white queen enters, humming a happy tune to herself, she then notices the audience
The White Queen:
Oh my! Hello my dears! I am The White Queen of Wonderland and this here is my gloriously magnificent Car-stle! How are you all very well doing today?
Audience response
The White Queen:
Ever so sorry my sweet dears but I’m ever so hard of hearing all the way over here I simply could not hear you! How are we all doing today?!
Audience response
The White Queen:
Oh well, very well, that’s perfect!
Alice and the others appear on stage
The White Rabbit:
Your majesty, your majesty! Excuse me! I must request a most important favour of you!
The White Queen:
Oh well of course my dear Rabbit, whatever can I do for you?
The White Rabbit:
Well you see your highness, earlier on it would seem Miss Alice here ripped the pages of a story book she was reading, which she now rightfully regrets, but it would seem the pages that she ripped have caused the characters to fall out of their stories and into Wonderland! We ask your help to fix this mess!
The White Queen:
Oh me oh my! What a mess it would seem we are in! Come in my dears, come in, make yourself at home, no need to be nervous! (gestures at the other characters to move closer)
Alice:
Your majesty, I am so very sorry for causing all of this trouble, I would never ever have guessed in all my life, that my awful behaviour would have caused so much unfortunate damage!
The White Queen:
Oh my dear, I understand completely, allow me to look into my crystal ball, it allows me to see the entire kingdom! I shall see if we can find out how to fix this mess we have found ourselves in. (looks into crystal ball and looks shocked) Oh my goodness! It’s that wretched and far less attractive sister of mine, The Red Queen, she’s formed some sort of evil team! And she’s going after the pages of the book! We simply cannot let her find them, if she does, she will be able to rule over all of your stories! Boys and girls will you help us find the pages?! If you see a page of the book, I want you to shout “WE’VE FOUND A PAGE!” can you do that for me now? On the count of three, one, two, three!
Audience response
The White Queen:
Very good! Now just remember, if you see a page, shout that as loud as you can!
Come along everyone! We haven’t a moment to spare, it’s crucial that we find those pages before my hideous sister!
Before they can leave, Tweedle Dum can be heard crying off stage, and the group get confused as to who it could be.
Tweedle Dum:
WWAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Alice:
Oh my, what on earth could that awfully ear splitting noise have been?!
Tweedle Dum:
WAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
The White Queen:
There it is again!
Prince Charming:
I’ll take care of this, it could be a dragon or something equally as dangerous… (brandishes sword and runs stage right, making fighting sounds) DIE FOUL BEAST! YOU SHALL NOT HARM THESE WOMEN TONIGHT!
Whilst Prince Charming is making these noises, Tweedle Dum enters from stage left, revealing that he was the one making the noises and Prince Charming is indeed, fighting no one.
Prince Charming:
BACK! GET BACK!
Tweedle Dum:
WAAAHHHH!
Little Red Riding Hood:
Ohh, so that’s where the noise was coming from… but then… who is he fighting…
Prince Charming:
I SAID GET BACK YOU DEMON.
Rapunzel:
I don’t think he’s fighting anyone…
Alice:
Ehem… um Mr Charming?
Prince Charming:
(pokes head out) You called?
Alice:
We found the source of the noise…
Prince Charming:
Ah, jolly good, I was just fighting a dragon, don’t worry though, it’s gone now.
The White Rabbit:
I didn’t see a dragon…
Prince Charming:
It was invisible… and silent.
Tweedle Dum:
WAAAAHHH!
The White Queen:
Tweedle Dum my dear, whatever is the matter?
Tweedle Dum:
(sniffing and trying not to cry) It’s Tweedle Deessss!! He’s lefts me and nows hes gone evers so deeps intos the deeps darks forests and I wonts be ables to find hims all by myselfsss!!
Alice:
Oh goodness! That is quite a predicament you are in there! And it would be indeed unwise to try to find him all on your own! But we are also looking for something, we are looking for the pages of this story book, and it seems they could be all over Wonderland! So perhaps if you were to come along with us, we could look for both the pages and Tweedle Dee together!
The White Rabbit:
Indeed a terrific idea Miss Alice! Let us leave at once!
All exit, end of scene.
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